Skip to main content

Mr. Brown Vs. Sparkly Vampires

Denzel Washington's career-best performance as an alcoholic pilot who's life is in a nose dive in Flight. The sheer madness of Seven Psychopaths. The best coming-of-age movie since Garden State in The Perks of Being A Wallflower. A James Bond film that feels nostalgic, yet completely new in Skyfall. Paul Thomas Anderson's unique and beautifully shot character drama The Master. And the Wachowski's.....Cloud Atlas

What do all these movies have in common? They're all movies i've been promising to review, but put them off due to a severe case of procrastination. I will get to each one of these movies in due time, and as of this week, none of those movies matter. Not even Steven Spielberg's Lincoln, which has gotten serious Oscar buzz surrounding it, in particular, Daniel Day Lewis as the title character matters this week. For the next week, one film will hold American audiences in it's vice-grip. The finale to a worldwide phenomenon that has captured the attention span of every teen girl, from the books turned movies themselves, to the off-screen romance between it's stars (and their 'devastating' breakup over the summer). The movie that normal,sane audiences and critics regard as the most insufferable and worst film series to come along in decades. 

Yep. The Twilight Saga. I guess this was something that can't be swept under the rug. I can't avoid it, I can't go 2 minutes without seeing a TV spot for the last installment, Breaking Dawn: Part II, and I can't go to a grocery store without seeing Robert Pattinson's mug plastered on nearly every magazine cover. So what better way to celebrate the release of the last installment by revisiting the shittiness of the the previous films that came before it? I start Tomorrow. 

Brace yourselves, folks.


Popular posts from this blog

Even Us Liberals Have To Deal With Annoying Loudmouths

Editor's note: the point of this post is not to target Bernie Sanders supporters. My intention is to talk about an experience I had with one person in particular and convey that I'm not a fan of his "agree with me or you're not a real liberal!" style of radio/podcasting.

From the website

obnoxious: adjective1.
obnoxiousbehavior. 2.
annoyingorobjectionableduetobeingashowofforattractingundue attentiontooneself:
anobnoxiouslittlebrat. 3.
Archaic.exposedorliabletoharm,evil,oranythingobjectionable. 4.
Obsolete.liabletopunishmentorcensure;reprehensible. I love watching The Young Turks on You Tube. I try to catch clips and stories by the Internet broadcast group whenever I get the chance because you do get to hear the stories that the mainstream media, otherwise don't usually report on, and their views are proudly progressive. I may not always completely agree with the overall points that Cenk Uygur, Ana Kasparin and Jord…

We Can Do Better, Folks.

If I have one plea to ask of my fellow liberals, it's this: please, please -- regardless of what happens with the election, don't make comedian Jimmy Dore the spokesperson for the blue cause. In case you don't know who he is, here's a brief recap: Dore is what you get when you combine Glenn Beck's wing-nutty bullshit ideas and theories, mixed with Bill Maher's smug, sometimes condescending demeanor, if you removed his ability to make an audience laugh. Lately he's been the voice for disgruntled and disillusioned Bernie Sanders supporters who believe the choice between Republican nominee Donald Trump and Democratic nominee Hillary Clinton is a vote for the same-old establishment politics that have screwed over the middle class and enriched the top 1% and that Bernie Sanders was the only candidate that could break the spell of business as usual with a political revolution.

Dore's argument boils down to the following: the Democratic establishment needs to …

Faboulosly Un-Fabulous

I've said this several times, and I'll repeat myself again: there's not a worse experience at the cinema than sitting through bad comedy. To me, it is the equivalent of nails on a chalkboard, or getting a filling at the dentists office. It's painful, torturous and near-exhausting to sit in a dark room, unamused by the jokes and hi jinks on-screen, praying to yourself that this movie ends quickly before you just decide to walk out and do something more productive with your time. Absolutely Fabulous: The Movie is one of those times where bad comedy drives me up the wall and groan incisively thought the 85 minute run time.

For those who didn't religiously watch AbFab during its run during the early to mid-90's on BBC, PBS or re-runs on Comedy Central (or when it was revived from 2001-2004), here's the gist of it: two middle-aged women, Edina (Jennifer Saunders, who is also producer and co-creator of the series) and Patsy (Joanna Lumley), spend their days chasi…