Skip to main content

Mr. Brown's Trailer Reviews: Pain and Gain

Hello again, Michael Bay.

Hollywood's biggest hack has returned, and this time, we're not being treated to robot-on-robot CGI carnage, robot testicles, dog humping, or a dude stuffing an animal cracker down a woman's pants. This time, he's making a smaller, low-budget character piece that's borrowing from Quentin Tarantino and Joel & Ethan Coen flicks.


No, really. That's what Pain and Gain looks like, and it's what Bay was aiming for: an unholy union of Tarantino's lurid and hypnotic dialogue, the Coen Brothers' idiosyncratic characters, and Bay's own directorial traits of fast editing cuts, slow-motion shots of sunrises and sunsets, and Bay's camera lusting over beautiful women in bikinis, skimpy outfits, ass shots, etc. The only thin missing is his signature trademark of racial stereotypes being trotted out for cheap laughs, though I'm certain it'll be in the finished product. Anywho, here's the red-band trailer for Pain and Gain, due out April 26.


Despite everything i've said about this hack, i'll probably see this film, solely because i'm a fan of both Mark Wahlberg and Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson. and maybe the duo will be entertaining, despite Bay thinking he can rip-off Fargo and Reservoir Dogs and dumb it down for his audience.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Lost in Translation

I think it's fair to assume that a lot of us were very skeptical upon hearing that Masmure Shinrow's cyberpunk manga Ghost in the Shell was being updated for mainstream audiences, in the form of a live-action film. We've seen how this business has handled manga/Anime properties in the past, and the track record, outside of the Wachowskis' Speed Racer, has been dismal, to say the least. When it was revealed that Scarlett Johansson was chosen to play Major Motoko Kusanagi, the Internet went ablaze, the cries that studio suits were whitewashing a beloved Anime character, as well as petitions making the rounds to remove the actress from the role in favor of an Asian actress to carry the role. When the first trailer dropped in mid-November of last year, I think most of us were blown away with just how, on a surface level, it looked like the live-action version might do the original source material justice.

Then, the actual film was released.

It's hard to talk about the …

Spare Me

Sometimes you find something so incredibly stupid and so utterly irresponsible on social media that you have to address it. Last weekend was the Peoples' Summit in Chicago, where a coalition of Sanders supporters and left-wing activists flocked to a three-day event to discuss about where the movement, which started back in 2016 behind then-candidate Bernie Sanders, would and should go in the Trump era, including whether the Democratic Party can be (or should be) saved, or if the time has come to abandon the party and start a new People's party instead. Enter The Young Turks correspondent Nomiki Konst and her thoughts on why the Democratic establishment should accept and embrace independents who don't lean either with the R's or D's in primary battles.
"No open primaries for Democratic Party equals voter suppression and racism with young independent voters" @NomikiKonst#PPLSummit — Holly Mosher (@FilmsForChange) June 10, 2017
*Rolls eyes HARD for several m…

Transformers: The One Good Movie

A bit of backstory here: I was at a bar last Saturday night, chatting with fellow film fan Mason Daniel via social media when an ad for Michael Bay's latest Transformers flick, The Last Knight, appeared on television, in which I had said that I would talk about each of the last four films before I (eventually) pay to see the fifth installment of the franchise. Also, I need to get back into writing and reviewing movies, because given everything that's happened in the world, and everything that has yet come to pass, I could use the distraction and escape. What better way to do that than to revisit the site's original whipping boy (before Jimmy Dore took the crown recently) and his soul-crushing franchise of noise and destruction?

Oh, Michael Bay. You and I have had a long, contentious relationship - most of it (extremely) negative. However, I do think his talent, purely from a visual aspect, is to be commended: every last one of his films has a slick Hollywood feel and shine…