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Jeffrey Wells Doing Jeffrey Wells Things.

Last October, I wrote a letter to Jeffrey Wells about his posts, and how I was afraid that, for all of the controversial, inflammatory and sometimes nasty and mean-spirited posts, he was simply writing them to be controversial and inflammatory, to get more hits on his site and to more people talking about himself.

Over the past few days, I got his answer. And it wasn't pretty. 

First, there was him talking about Patricia Arquette attending the Santa Barbra International Film Festival. What did he have to say?

Arquette explained to a Telegraph interviewer a year ago that “you don’t have to buy your mate’s fidelity by looking a certain way…if you’re really in it for the long haul, ten pounds isn’t going to make — shouldn’t make — a world of difference.” I don’t know how to put this gently but nobody in the world welcomes a mate putting on weight…no one. Plus the 46 year-old Arquette has gained a bit more than ten pounds since her performances in Flirting With Disaster and Lost Highway. I’m sure I’ll be derided for saying this, but she’s become, no offense, a woman of somewhat ample proportions. It happens to short women in their 40s unless they become workout Nazis, and Arquette, it seems, doesn’t care to go there...she’s dreaming if she thinks extra weight won’t influence the kind of roles she’ll be offered. Post-Boyhood she’s basically the middle-aged gunboat mama who’s a bit angry and wounded and won’t take any shit. On the other hand she can’t play roles that require a look of upscale urbanity or ultra-discipline or Type-A attitudes. 

Wells astutely points out that she doesn't look the same when Patricia got into the business back in the 90's; that, in fact, she's kinda let herself go. Really. No comments about her body of work over her 20 years in the business, nor anything about what her thoughts on her own image speaks to her feeling comfortable in her own skin...rather, just a comment of, "Wow, she used to be hot, but now she has really let herself go!"

And today, he brings up Judd Apatow's latest comedy, Trainwreck, starring Amy Schumer and Bill Hader. Does he talk about his initial reaction to seeing the trailer? No. And with that, you should all know what's he's really going to choose to talk about (hell, it's in the title of his post!)...

With Trainwreck (Universal, 7.17), director Judd Apatow is once again introducing a chubby, whipsmart, not conventionally attractive, neurotically bothered female comic to a mass audience — first Melissa McCarthy in Bridesmaids (’11), then Lena Dunham in HBO’s Girls (’12) and now Amy Schumer, the star and writer of Trainwreck as well as the star of Comedy Central’s Inside Amy Schumer. She’s obviously sharp and clever and funny as far as the woe-is-me, self-deprecating thing goes, but there’s no way she’d be an object of heated romantic interest in the real world. And yet that’s the apparent premise of Apatow’s film. Schumer’s wide facial features reminded me of a blonde Lou Costello around the time of Buck Privates, or Jennifer Aniston‘s somewhat heavier, not-as-lucky sister who watches a lot of TV. Don’t look at me — I’m not the one who made her the star of a film about a plucky, free-spirited girl that a lot of guys want to bang. You know who would be better in a film like this? An actress who’s nicely attractive, has the funnies and the soulful stuff besides? Jenny Slate.

Like last time, Wells doesn't say anything about whether he thinks the movie will be funny or not, or what he thinks of Amy Schumer as a comedienne, but rather, he takes another jab about how she's fat in his mind.

You may begin to see a pattern forming...those posts had over 80 + comments on the message boards. In fact, it got people talking about him, especially from other film critics, like Scott Weinberg.

Hell, it even got one of the members from the San Francisco Film Critics Circle to ask IFC Films, the distributor of Oscar hopeful Boyhood to take their FYC ads off of Wells's site.

In essence, it got people talking about him and his site. Regardless of how crude, degrading and mean-spirited the comments were, it got people to give a damn about Jeffrey Wells. Congratulations, you got what you wanted. You've got your hits on your site, and you've got us. Talking. About. You. Since I've given you what you wanted, allow me to tell you what you are. In fact, it's what you got pissed off with me for calling you on Twitter.

Like I said, this is Wells' overall endgame: Attention. And lots of it. It doesn't matter if he's writing a post thanking a director for showing side boob, or thinking that a family with a down syndrome child should be kicked out of a theater if their kid won't shut up, or, in this case, taking shots at a woman's weight; anything is fair game. That's not only lazy writing, it's grossly cynical to boot. And you, sir, have both in spades.


  1. Good stuff. He really is something else. When I read about the ads being pulled from his site I almost applauded/


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