We're Pissed That a Villain Did Villain-Like Things! Rabble Rabble Rabble!!!

Allow me to switch gears for a minute and turn my attention to small screen. The 3rd season of Netflix's immensely popular House of Cards is now streaming, and it's wicked fun to see America's favorite amoral scumbag, Frank Underwood, return, along with his wife, Claire, who is just as Machiavellian as he is. However, not everyone feels the same way, which is fine and is their right, but when you see something so astronomically stupid as to why something (in this case a show) is awful, you just have to address it.

Frank Underwood disapproves...severely.

Enter the fine folks at News Busters, a conservative media watchdog exposing "liberal media bias" wherever it exists, or simply just simply gin up fake bullshit/outrage because complaining about Obama and every other media outlet not named Fox News gets repetitive real quick. But in the interest of being fair (and hopefully avoiding being on the site's shit list), let's hear why they're so outraged over Season 3 of the popular political drama.

The local bishop preaches to him as a friend that he’s supposed to love God and love his neighbor. Underwood proclaims that he understands the vengeful God he sees in the Old Testament, but doesn't understand why Jesus would let someone kill him. Underwood asks for a moment alone to pray. Then he sidles up to the crucifix – just a few feet above his head – and mutters most cynically to God the Son. “Love....that’s what you’re selling? Well, I don’t buy it!” Then he spits in the face of Christ. When he gets out a handkerchief to wipe off his offense, the whole thing shatters on the floor. He instructs the Secret Service to clean up his mess, and walks off with a ceramic ear. “Well, I’ve got God’s ear now,” he quips. This, as usual, is an over-the-top swipe designed to shock viewers and loosen lips. The third season begins with him asking his Secret Service detail for a little privacy at his father’s grave so he may pay his respects – and then he urinates on it. President Underwood has a serious disrespect problem. 

First off: You guys do know that Frank Underwood is the villain, right? You know: the person in the story you're not supposed to root for? This is like getting mad at Goodfellas for promotion mobsters and their lifestyle. You're not supposed to root for them as characters! Secondly: How dare show creator Beau Willimon use the television medium to create moments that get people talking about and watching your show? The nerve of the bastard! It's not like ABC would use a dramatic device or moment to elicit a series of reactions or emotions from their viewing audience with Scandal & How To Get Away with Murder; or HBO with The Sopranos & Game of Thrones; or PBS with Downtown Abbey! Oh wait...

Frank Underwood has become the Walter White of politics. The journey to full-blown evil was shorter for Underwood, but this show is revered just as much as Breaking Bad.  Is the crucifix-spitting taking this theme too far? It absolutely is. But this scene is shocking, and then on reflection, it’s not.

So a villain spitting on the face of Jesus is upsetting, but showing their lord and savior being tortured, beaten and mutilated for nearly two hours (in gory, graphic detail from brutal whipping scenes, to driving nail into JC's hands and feet) is somehow not going too far.


Not only are the News Busters upset when a villain does villainous things, the concept of satire does not compute with them as well, as they take the piece completely out of context to fit their agenda....I mean, struggle to comprehend facetious, snarky humor.

8. Treat property and people the same: like trash. Obama seems like the sort of person who treats property with the same respect he shows people. That’s a mistake. Underwood understands that neither is deserving of his deference. When he visits his father’s gravesite, he urinates on it. When a bishop tells him that there are just two rules in life — love Jesus and love each other — he spits on a statue of Jesus. Maybe Obama should at least throw a blanket over a portrait of George W. Bush.

Their response? The liberals elites in the media have all but given up on Dear Leader and are now resorting to wishing that he act like the fictional character that they're currently slamming for doing something you'd expect an antagonist would do. I swear, that whole statement makes more sense in their heads than it does coming out of my mouth.

Apparently, at this late stage of the Obama presidency, that hope-and-change idealism is completely dead, and liberal journalists can only imagine how glorious it would be for Obama to push all the conservatives down the stairs and light them on fire and watch them burn.

I love how the News Busters are using this one opinion piece from the Boston Globe to paint the entire liberal media as having these twisted fantasies of seeing Obama going on a rampage on conservatives everywhere. With making deadlines, doing research for current and future pieces, going over interview questions, sitting through rundown meetings about the stories of the day, chasing aides and staffers for quotes inside the White House or for a Senator's team, etc, I'm pretty sure they're fantasizing less about wishing that the President would inflict bodily harm on an opposing party member and more about what they're going to watch on Netflix when they get home. But by the way Tim Graham pulled that nonsensical gibberish out of his ass, I can say that the conservatives are constantly trying to undermine the President at every turn - be it on the international stage when trying to engage another nation in matters of diplomacy, or by criticizing what music their kids like. And we all know that the conservatives would never do any of that to an acting President; and even if they did, I'm confident the guys at News Busters would dutifully look the other way.