Mr. Brown Versus

There are many things to say about the Bourne  series - namely they were exciting and thrilling to watch. But going a bit deeper than just the two hours of intense fight scenes, betrayal and hidden, ugly truths behind the past of our amnesiac-riddled protagonist, the series (more so Supremacy  and  Ultimatum  when Paul Greengrass took over the reigns from Doug Liman) is a product of its time and place with the War on Terrorism seemingly never-ending, headlines and reports of the U.S. Government engaging in torturing enemy combatants under the guise of protecting American lives and collecting intel, and unchecked powers that have been granted after the attacks in New York and the nation's capitol. The character of Jason Bourne is perhaps an apt metaphor of our mindset at the time - unsure and never fully trusting the powers-that-be. But most of all, the one thing we could never say about the series is this: it was never boring and uninteresting. Jason Bourne , the...

I've said this several times, and I'll repeat myself again: there's not a worse experience at the cinema than sitting through bad comedy. To me, it is the equivalent of nails on a chalkboard, or getting a filling at the dentists office. It's painful, torturous and near-exhausting to sit in a dark room, unamused by the jokes and hi jinks on-screen, praying to yourself that this movie ends quickly before you just decide to walk out and do something more productive with your time. Absolutely Fabulous: The Movie is one of those times where bad comedy drives me up the wall and groan incisively thought the 85 minute run time. For those who didn't religiously watch AbFab during its run during the early to mid-90's on BBC, PBS or re-runs on Comedy Central (or when it was revived from 2001-2004), here's the gist of it: two middle-aged women, Edina (Jennifer Saunders, who is also producer and co-creator of the series) and Patsy (Joanna Lumley), spend their days cha...

Somewhere in the middle of Independence Day: Resurgence , cocky fighter pilot Jake Morrison (Liam Hermsworth) creates a diversion for the remaining surviving pilots to escape the 3,000 ft. long mothership and regroup back to Area 51. He does this by -- and I'm not kidding -- whipping his dick out and taking a piss on the alien ship. I bet Roland Emmerich (who also co-wrote and co-produced) thought this was a nice bit of humor to alleviate the supposed tension in the scene, but in reality, it's the perfect metaphor for how he, Dean Devlin, James Vanderbilt and everyone else who was involved with this piece of shit is pissing on what made the original sci-fi invasion blockbuster enjoyable, as well as what they think of the paying audience. It's the same visceral 'fuck you!' feeling I got watching past summer junk like Michael Bay's vile Bad Boys 2  or Adam Sander's reprehensible That's My Boy , as if they're actively telling us, "yeah, this movie ...

Yeah, yeah, it's been two months since I've done any  sort of review for my blog. Unfortunately, life throws you a wicked curveball from time to time.  Mark Watney being stranded on a godforsaken desert planet with limited resources and almost no chance of a rescue team being sent to bring him home was his. War Machine facing paralysis after a brutal slugfest with his fellow Avengers was his. Pat Solitiano Jr. leaning to control and manage his bipolar disorder was his A run in with hypertension, a failing kidney and high blood pressure is mine. That's one hell of a curveball, wouldn't you say? As frightened as I am of doing dialysis three times a day, learning to adjust to a new low-sodium diet, resisting the temptation to scarf down french fries, hamburgers, hot dogs, etc buffalo wings, etc, and worrying about my body, I come to a few realizations: My parents, as freaked out as they were about my situation, told me that I would get through this. M...